When I was in school, I used to look forward to the days that I would finally be a fully fledged adult. I would get excited at the idea of having my own car and my own house and doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
I looked at adults and their adult lifestyles in awe and anticipation. It always seemed as if they had their entire life together and no longer had the struggles that we mere kids did.
Slowly but surely, I started to get older and older. I remember reaching the milestone of becoming 18 and thinking to myself “I’ve made it! I’m an adult!” It didn’t take me long after reaching my 18th Birthday to realise that I still wasn’t that fully fledged adult I wanted to be.
As a student I was still very much reliant on my parents for money to simply stay alive. I couldn’t even drive to wherever I wanted since my parents were the ones responsible for my petrol money.
“Don’t worry, once you’re done studying, you’ll finally be an independent adult.” I used to say to myself all the time. So, there I was again, even as someone who legally could get married, looking forward to the days that I would become the fully fledged adult I always looked up to in awe.
Then, I finally started working and again I was convinced that this was it- my adult life was officially starting.
I still had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know how to do taxes. I knew nothing of house mortgages or loans. I definitely didn’t feel like the adult I always thought I would be. I felt like an 18 year old stuck in the body of a 20 something year old.
Once again, I told myself repeatedly: “This is still early days. Once you get married, you’ll finally be there. You will have reached fully fledged adult status.”
Fast forward to 2023. I’m married. I have a daughter. I pay my taxes. I have my own car. I even rent my own place that I pay with my own hardly earned salary.
Have I finally reached that fully fledge adult status I was always so excited about?
Not even remotely.
I still have absolutely no idea what I’m doing and I still feel like an 18 year old trapped in the body of someone in their 30s.
There was however one thing that I learned throughout all of this and that is – there is no such thing as a fully fledge adult. Whether someone’s 18 or 80, they’re still just a kid trying to figure out how to live their life.
The only difference between an adult and a kid, is that as an adult we merely pretend we know what we’re doing – oh and our toys are much more expensive.
Written by: Sunet