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7 Types of Clubbers

todayJanuary 19, 2026 31

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Weekend is behind us, did everyone have fun? I hope so!!

What did you get up to? Maybe you got the friends together and hit up the club?

Did you know (pinch of salt) there 7 types of people at every club party!? You know, aside from the bartenders, bouncers, DJ etc…

And running through the list, it almost feels like everyone is as important as the next to make up the ecosystem, that is a night club!

Lets get going!

The Hijacker: 

  • Requests. Requests. Requests. This person feels the need to walk up to the DJ booth and bother the DJ with requests because “they know what music will REALLY get people in the mood!” 

The Paparazzi:

  • You’re barely in the club, and they’ve already taken 347 photos, 322 of which are selfies..! Best to bust out the sunglasses because that flash get’s a bit much after a while… and it’s not stopping anytime soon!

The Connector:

  • Introduces everyone to everyone… usually with a motive – “You guys would make such a cute couple!” or “You both like cheese, you’re definitely gonna be besties…” Odds are, you’ll never speak to that person ever again!

The Bathroom Bestie:

  • Usually a little tipsy… makes friends in the bathroom queue with whoever is immediately in range. Plans are made. However… Plans will NOT be followed through! 

The Last Man Standing:

  • It’s late (or early…)! Everyone is sleeping. The sun is creeping over the horizon… but this person is STILL going! They saw everything the night had to offer… problem is, they won’t remember any of it! 

The Prisoner (And the dancefloor is the prison)

  • No matter the song, no matter the mood, no matter the dance partner… they aren’t leaving the dancefloor! And at some point it almost seems like they can’t… take them a water every now and then to make sure they stay hydrated!

The Sober Friend/DD

  • They saw it all, they witnessed it all, they took it all in, and more importantly… they remember it all! And they will definitely be using it against the rest at some point in the future… 

Did we miss anything!? Or more importantly, which one are you!? As for myself, can I add an 8th category – The grumpy old man who stays home and complains about the “doof, doof” coming from the club down the street!

Written by: Jacques

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